The ego is the chief obstacle in the way of spiritual realization. It is what separates us from the Divine or our true nature. But it can be surprisingly difficult to understand what exactly the ego is. Sri Aurobindo defines it as “a self-limitation of consciousness by a willed ignorance of the rest of its play and its exclusive absorption in one form” (The Life Divine 63). In other words, it is a psychological principle of separation from the rest of existence that is manifested throughout our being. This is the most cogent definition, the one that most clearly defines the nature and scope of the ego with respect to the other terms of existence we find in metaphysical philosophy. But the risk of using such an abstract definition is that it can be difficult to apply it in the context of our mundane experience. Where do we actually observe this “self-limitation” in our daily routines? The meditative traditions propose one way to go beyond the limitations of the ego. But the ego is present in our lives all the time, even beyond the meditation couch. How are we to to find it and rout it out?
The most foolproof method of working with the ego, if there can be said to be one, is to follow the guidance of the realized guru who deeply understands the psychological makeup of the disciple and can guide him or her through the difficult passage. In fact, identifying the operations of the ego is extremely difficult. The difficulty of dealing with the ego is that any psychological movement can be a manifestation of the ego, but it could also be a manifestation of the true Divine individuality that lies past the ego. Even an apparent defect of the outer nature like messiness, which would seem like something that must be transcended in a state of order, can in some cases be an expression of a Divine principle; but it requires exceptional intuition to be able to sort this possibility out from the more common explanation that it is an egoistic attachment to tamas. In the absence of the realized guru who can make these determinations, the individual is left with their own discrimination; eventually they may be united with the guidance of the soul or with the intuitive planes above the mind which can help them along the way. In the meantime, there are any number of heuristic principles that guide us along the way. Selflessness is, in general, preferable to selfishness; love is to be preferred to hatred; and so on. Heuristics can be helpful, but their generality can make it difficult to know how to apply them precisely.
The power of the heuristic schema of “winning versus losing” for identifying the operation of the ego lies in its rich structure and clarity. Once we recognize that we are in its grip, it is exceptionally clear how to apply the terms, interpret the situation, and work towards dismantling an instance of the ego’s operation. The principle of this schema is that the ego is attached to winning in any situation it finds itself in. The terms of the schema are our ego, a game-like situation, the adversarial psychological entity competing with us, and our psychological reaction. These game-like situations involve other psychological entities which are generally other people, but in the case of a deadly animal or a faceless corporation, we may project human psychologies onto them. A game-like situation is a circumscribed situation that is carved out from life where there is a notion of “winning” or “losing” some prize or end-condition. And the reaction is the perturbed psychological state that we encounter when we realize we want to win the game, or realize that we are losing and don’t like it.
It is frequently the reaction we have to a situation that alerts us to the fact that we are in a game-like situation, sometimes even against our own wishes. And the reaction is even able to point out the ego as an entity itself, which is what makes this schema so instructive. Once the game is seen, we see that the ego is the player who has cut itself off from the rest of existence and is purely absorbed in its petty victory or defeat. One of the most frequent and recognizable instances of this phenomenon is when we are on the road and another car cuts us off or overtakes us. We feel irritation or indignation and plot and stew in it, and wonder how we can overtake the other car in turn, or at least keep up a healthy speed to show that we are not “really” defeated. At the level of our higher self-concept we may think that we have gone beyond such petty occurrences; we may feel that such reactions are worthy of a child, or even a lower state of civilization. And yet we continue to have the reactions regardless of what our conscious mind tells us we should feel about them.
Here, it is the perturbed reaction we have to losing that reveals the game that was already carved out; it is an infantile game, but a game nonetheless: the game of who will be the car who is in the lead. And by the fact that we are attached to winning we identify the entity that wants to win as the ego. Once this pattern is recognized, we see it everywhere: trying to stay on top of an email chain at work; dealing with the customer service representative we are on the phone with; trying to return a defective product at the grocery store; establishing the good name of our reputation at a dinner with friends of friends we don’t yet know; and the simple example of the debate, where we are determined to prove our point of view against the adversary whose opposing view in the heat of the moment seems a threat to all that is decent in the world.
How are we to transcend this state? Knowledge of the games around us is a first step, and just having this knowledge can go a long way towards extricating ourselves from their traps. But simple awareness is ultimately not enough, because the nature of the game has a long history in the psyche, and the irrational drives that stabilize it are not so easily plucked out. Being aware of the triggered complex is one stage of growing past the game. Having an attitude of quietude towards the triggered response is the next stage; in this state, the burning desire to win or the rage at the thought of losing is quieted to a simmer, though it does continue boiling quietly in some part of our consciousness. Another level of growing past the reaction is to feel the vibration gone from our consciousness altogether; the simmering pot in the back room is taken off and we don’t feel the reaction inside us at all.
It would seem that this is the final level, but of course it is not. Sri Aurobindo has described how vibrations that are rejected in one part of the nature can go down to a lower level of being such as the subconscious and come back later (Letters on Yoga IV 604). Inevitably when dealing with the game situation the next time, the feelings of wanting to dominate will come back, when we meet the stubborn friend, get on the phone with customer support, and so on. We must remain vigilant and do the best we can to defuse the triggered response, knowing that the true victory may take many attempts. The best case is that we are able to transform our reaction enough that the game opens up into a new, win-win possibility; or if not that, then at least the game may conclude in a way that leaves us feeling more at peace, without raging feelings of victory or defeat.
It would seem that surmounting these reactions is tantamount to leaving the field of play altogether. But life beyond the reactions of win-lose games is the not the same as the experience of being off the field of play, but is rather a psychological space with more possibilities. It is important to note that there can still be conflict in this condition. And it is important to be able to bear these conflicts and see them through to the end, as there are still important aims to be sought out. On the road, we still need to coordinate so that everyone can get to the lane they want to, and some people will get positions farther ahead than others. Debates will continue, as the dialectical process of finding truth will require it, and there will be wins and losses. We may still by stonewalled on the customer support line or at the grocery store. The field of life is a field of conflict, and in asserting our highest truth and highest potentialities there will be be conflicts that need to be worked out. The way to tell a true conflict from a mere win-loss game is when we can identify the higher purpose that the conflict serves and that we must work out through our actions. But it is possible to undertake these conflicts in a psychological state of equality, where our reactions to each gain or setback are not constantly perturbed by the status of the game the mind carves out and attempts to win. In this state, the Divine Force flows through us; this force sometimes flows freely, and sometimes is obstructed, but we trust that it eventually finds its way to the outcomes that it seeks to accomplish.
This principle of win-loss games and the ego can be used to give a reading of the great scripture of engagement with life, the Bhagavad Gita. Contemplating the conflict that he has to go through, Arjuna shrinks from the battle that he is tasked with by his dharma. But Lord Krishna reminds him that he must continue and fight in order for the processes of the world to continue to unfold. Arjuna recognizes that entering the game of battle in an untransformed consciousness cannot lead to a positive outcome; he would only be winning or losing in the terms of the ego. But attempting to avoid the game altogether is still an egoic reaction; in reality, because the processes of the world continue on as they always do, there is no real possibility of leaving the field of battle. Arjuna must engage with the battle with a consciousness undertakes action while transcending the dualities of winning and losing. So it is in our own lives; we cannot avoid the demanding and often conflictual nature of the situations our life presents to it. But we can leave behind the win-lose reactions of the ego and engage with life from a higher poise—and we must, if we are to develop to the higher spiritual consciousness that is possible for us.
Works Cited
Sri Aurobindo. The Life Divine. Sri Aurobindo Ashram Publication Department, 2005.
Sri Aurobindo. Letters on Yoga IV. Sri Aurobindo Ashram Publication Department, 2014.
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